Who am I?

It must be bizarre reading an article without a single visual aid to assist your burning desire to know – who am I?


Although the temptation is there to wrap myself in bubble wrap, free of judgement, I must rationalise with you hungry lot. All three of you.


I’m White British (as my infinite job applications would tell you) but you may not believe this. I like to play a game called guess the ethnicity with new people. I have a 100% success rate.

I reside just outside of London where I can breathe the somewhat fresh air of the hustle and bustle from afar.